mercurygrin: (annoyed)
The latest overplayed Esurance commercial with the "Pwerful Power" song makes me want to shank a bitch.
If I could set just one group of people on fire, I would choose the marketing dillweeds at Esurance. 

However, I make the pain go away the 50x a day that commercial comes on, by singing the REAL LYRICS. 
You know you sing this too:

It's okay to PEE yourself.... It's okay to PEE yourself
When you've had to much booze.....
It's okay to PEE yourself..... It's okay to RELEASE YOUR OVERFULL OVRFUL BLADDER
Because it feeeeeeels GoooOOOoooOood.

It's funny because its true. 
Ok, who wants to put it on Youtube?  Hell a thousand parodies are probably already there. I really don't care enough to check.

Fuck you Esurance for destroying music and all that is good in the world.  Twats.
mercurygrin: (annoyed)
If vegetarianism means looking like Sophie Monk naked, pass me a rare bacon wrapped steak STAT.   With a side of cage-fed beakless chickuns, and dolphin tainted tuna. This is fucking horrific, and I am totally fucking sick of this ad popping up everywhere.  Her face looks like its sliding off into her ears too. Is that a side effect of tofu?   I think she's laying there like that because she is too weak to move all 65 lbs of herself, not to mention one of her legs is obviously missing.  Probably some kind of osteoporosis from the chili pepper vegan binges she later purges.  What the fuck is wrong with people???  I don't even know who Sophie Monk is, but I truly believe that for 25 cents a day we can help her and the other starving people in Mmfufu Africa.


mercurygrin: (Default)
Someone needs to explain to Trace Adkins exactly what a "badonka donk" is, because I don't think he got the memo.   

For some insane reason I saw this video last night called  Honky Tonk Badonka Donk .... and not a single one of the girls in the video HAD a badonkadonk.  What the shit? Like they couldn't find one white blond girl with a big ass?  Very Unlikely... They just need to come to my town... Cowboys night club is crawling with them.
These video girls had serious cases of Paris Hilton White Girl Ass.  Looked like a bunch of concave spoons in some jean shorts.  

As the proud owner of a badonkadonk, I wish to make a formal complaint.    Lets have some truth here.   If they're claiming Honky Tonk Badonka Donk, then that's what should be shown.  Not Bony Ass Barbies who can't fill out their pants. 
And lets be honest with ourselves, at the local honky tonks there is much more moose knuckle and flat pancake ass than any Bum Cake or Mud Flap action happening.   Next time Mr Adkins should name his song Honky Tonk Camel Toe and at least that will be a fair representation. 

Oh, and by far the best line in the song is: "Shut my mouth, smack your grandma".  Or something like that.
Yeah. Um.  Wow.
What kind of meth are these country stars smoking?


mercurygrin: (Default)

February 2010

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